Merry Christmas!

Why I love Christmas...

A tiny, sparsely decorated tree stood in the corner near the door. It had a slight lean like a ship that was listing at sea, not sure whether to remain afloat or give up the fight and go under. The first time I laid eyes on that tree when I came into work that night I knew that I had finally seen a real Charlie Brown tree. Also, someone had strung silver shiny garland around the work station and up the poles that support the ceiling just above it. It was officially Christmastime in the ER.

Christmas is so close I could reach out and touch it! This story is of a time when I worked in the Emergency Room of a local hospital and the people and cases that walked, or were rolled through those doors.

One thing I learned when I worked my first Christmas season in the emergency room was that it is NOT a joyous time in everyone’s lives. From patients and from fellow employees I realized that for some it is a deeply lonely and sad time. For them Christmas brings back horrendous memories of great pain and emptiness. 

Thankfully for most it is a time of great memories.

I remember a little girl about 4 years old that was brought in a couple days before Christmas. She was in a Christmas Pageant at her church and she wore a beautiful green satin dress with lace and a peter-pan collar. It had a huge bow that tied in the back and a matching bow was attached to her beautiful black hair; though at this point it had loosened its grip and was about to let go and slide right out of her hair. We learned that her brother, who was 6, had accidentally slammed the car door on her hand as she entered their car to head home after her performance. She looked to be in great pain, yet she forced a sweet little smile when I looked at her. As I approached her bed she said, “Brent didn’t mean to do it, it was an accident!” I thought it was sweet that she felt the need to exonerate her brother of any blame. She had a small laceration and a cracked bone in one of her fingers, some bruising too. It was overall a good outcome. As they carried her out she turned to me and said, “Merry Christmas!”

This was a brave and compassionate child.

Later a man came through our doors, led by a nurse and screaming obscenities. He was very intoxicated. He exclaimed he hated Christmas and everything about it. “The only way to make it through all of the Christmas Bull-S*#t, is to stay drunk!” he said. I watched as he was rude to all those around him and continued to push everyone away.  A police officer had accompanied him to the ER and now stood by the gurney where he sat. I could see blood oozing through a wrapping on his hand. He was a perfect example to show people not to play with your gun while you are drinking alcohol. Somehow he was not aware his gun was loaded and accidentally shot off one of his fingers, then fought with his family when they tried to get him in for medical care. He was a mess; his clothes had spatters of blood and his face even had a spot or two. The more everyone worked to calm him, the more combative he became.

It was a busy night and my attention strayed from him as I worked on my computer. The night slowed by 2:00am and I thought about the angry, drunk man, who was now in recovery. Surgery had cleaned up the nub where his finger had been and stopped the bleeding. A friend of mine worked in recovery and around 6 she came by as she was heading home. I asked about the man with the finger and she stopped to talk about him. Somehow when he sobered, he turned into a decent guy. She talked to him at length about Christmas and learned that he had terrible memories as a child, especially at Christmas when others were joyous and opening presents and being visited by Santa. He yearned for those things as a child. I suppose his pain had turned to anger and to drinking. She told me she believes he is a good guy with a good heart but he hides that part of himself this time of year.

It is so true that we do not know what others around us have in their hearts or what they have walked through in life. Since that time when I see someone angry, drunk or unreasonable I tell myself they are hurting. I envision a child who is hurt or mistreated as I look at them and my view is kinder. I am aware there are people who are just plain mean without anything to blame, but this man was not one of those people.

We are complicated creatures and we each handle disappointment in our own way. I don't think it is our place to judge others. The older I get the more I understand why I love Christmas so much!